feeling unappreciated

Have you ever felt unappreciated?... I have.

To be honest, it’s not just feeling unappreciated, it’s the unfairness and different rules for different people and that one really gets me. I cannot stand it. It’s f*cking annoying, and unfair. I always want to do the right thing and when I’m following rules and I see other people doing whatever they want, I get annoyed and rightfully so.

Lately, I’ve been feeling that nothing I do is good enough and I feel as though I have to work harder to be seen.

What is it? What is it about me? The thing is though, it’s not about me. I don’t control how things are run and I’ve really had to remind myself of that. You can’t control what you can’t control and as much I would like to sometimes, it’s not my place and it’s not where my energy should be going, especially when there is nothing I can do about it. I try to think ‘maybe one day things will change’, but they won’t.

This feeling of being unappreciated and undervalued has been something I’ve felt for the majority of my life, but most recently it’s been related to work.

There have been a few occasions where I felt things were unfair and I wasn’t being appreciated like other people in the team were. It feels like I’m just there, sitting at my desk, getting the work done, but feeling deflated. I don’t know, maybe I need to change my attitude and mindset, but the environment is what it is.

The corporate world is something, let me tell you. It also doesn’t help that I am extremely observant, so even if I don’t say anything, I see it (with or without my glasses on). 

If it’s all about being a team and working together as a team, why are some people (me) not being informed when changes happen? Am I not important?

I get that there is a hierarchy, people have their favourites, there are cliques and some people are closer, but it’s exhausting. This feeling…like I’m tired.

Let’s just say I’m learning a lot. And you know, I don’t think it’s anything in particular that I’m doing and vice versa, I’m sure no one is going out of their way to make me feel this, but then why is it happening?

I don’t know everything, but I know no one deserves to feel like this, especially in the workplace.