just another iron infusion

Talking about this makes me a little nervous, but I’m going to do my best. 

Let’s start from the beginning, when I first found out I was iron deficient. 

I was at school in my Business class, it was 4th period and I was writing down notes that were on the whiteboard, and then all of sudden I started getting the sweats and seeing spots. I stood up, my legs gave way and next minute I was outside the classroom on the floor. I then remember being helped up by my teacher and classmates. They brought me to the school office and my dad picked me up. 

I fainted not once but twice. When it happened at school, I just said it was the weather because it was really hot that day and I just thought maybe I was dehydrated. But then it happened again, this time I was with my dad and we were both getting haircuts and we were walking and talking to each other, and then the next thing I’m sitting in a chair and a lady is feeding me hot chips and giving me water. 

It was scary. I didn’t know what was wrong and why I was fainting, so my mum made appointments for me to get some tests done. I had a CT scan and a pelvic ultrasound. I got quite a few blood tests to check my levels and my iron came back very very low. It was -3.

I had my 1st iron infusion once I found out how low my iron levels were, my 2nd one in 2018 before I traveled overseas and had my 3rd iron infusion last October. While I knew what to expect, I felt like my emotions were all over the place and I was nervous. Getting the iron infusion is fine. I’m someone who is okay with needles and honestly whenever I would get a blood test, I would watch my blood go into the tube and found it quite fascinating. I don’t know why, but I did (lol). But this time it felt a bit different. I don’t know if it was because it was my third time but there was just a different vibe that I was feeling. 

I sat down, the nurse put the drip in my arm, closed the curtain and I watched the iron go into my vein.

I actually started crying.

Truth is, I didn’t like the fact that I was getting another infusion and I think that’s why the vibe was different. I was upset that the iron supplement I was taking didn’t improve my iron levels and I didn’t like that I was sitting there by myself. It normally takes about 30 minutes to get an iron infusion, and for the 30 minutes that I was sitting there, I felt lonely and isolated; as if there was something wrong with me. 

Right now, it’s looking like it’s just me. It’s just the way that I'm built. My body doesn’t absorb iron and I just don’t produce enough red blood cells. It is a bit upsetting but there are worse things. There are people that are literally bedridden in the hospital, so when it comes to my iron deficiency, it’s something that I can deal with and live with, and also knowing the fact that I’m not the only person in the world who is iron deficient. I just need to make sure that I eat healthy things and take care of myself, and when it’s genetic, there’s not much you can do about it.

At the end of the day, my body and my health matters, and it takes priority. In order to do the things that I want to do, I need to make sure everything is okay, health wise. If every few years I have to get an iron infusion, then I’m going to do it.

So yeah, that’s that. The one good take away from all of this is that now I’m aware of it. I know the difference if I’m feeling very fatigued because I’ve had a long day at work or a busy week in general, or if I’m feeling flat because my iron is low. 

If you’re going to take anything away from reading this blog post, it’s to go and get a blood test. Check that everything is okay because you never know, and you won’t ever regret putting your health first.

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dealing with grief